When I was on Tinder one night, I asked Cat, “How high do I have to set the age minimum before I stop getting D.J.s?” I had thousands of men at my fingertips and was unimpressed. The city is basically a collection of every town’s biggest egotists.Īnd I was on every dating app trying to meet them, which made my situation seem more hopeless. Los Angeles is where you end up if you think you are the funniest, hottest and most charming person in your town and think the whole world needs to know about you. Los Angeles is a hook-up-first, ask-questions-never sort of culture. In my seven years in Los Angeles, I hadn’t forged that kind of connection with anyone. But through all our hours on FaceTime, we had built a connection.

When I was in London, we hung out platonically. It was true that we hadn’t so much as held hands. So he threw Charmin to the wind and booked a flight.Īnd then Cat, my most supportive roommate, raised a thorny question: “Dude, what if he’s bad in bed?” But he liked me, and loved the idea of Los Angeles. This wasn’t easy for Nick because he doesn’t like to travel doesn’t like to stay with people (I had three roommates, and he was worried about “the bathroom situation”) and doesn’t like change. We did this for three months before Nick finally flew from London to Los Angeles to visit me. Over FaceTime.Īfter all, when you are willing to hold up your arm for five hours every night to make sure you’re not putting a double chin on display, you’re committed. We talked so often and for so long that it would have been weird to go on a date with anyone else, so we ended up becoming a couple. Oh hey, you should look as if you’re paying more attention.”Īfter a couple of months on FaceTime with a guy I had hung out with in person only four times, I got to know both him and my developing wrinkles pretty well.

Maybe it’s time for Botox, but what if Botox makes your eyelids go limp for a month? Also lift the phone higher you have a double chin. He tells you a story, you respond and then think: “Don’t react too hard. It’s as if you’re holding up a tiny mirror in front of yourself during the entire conversation.

When you talk to someone on FaceTime, there is a little square of your face in the corner that gives you a self-awareness you would not get on a date.

What to talk about on facetime